A fear of darkness, particularly being left alone in the dark, is one of the most common fears in this age group. The Fear: I'm afraid my child won't get the education and opportunities she needs to reach her potential. Mostly, talk to your husband! My mum lost my brother when I was almost two so a loss in your family definitely can contribute. Sometimes life events don't occur by our timeline. Hope everyone else manages to find peace as well. As a teenager, I thought I was untouchable, invincible, like many teenagers are apt to do. If anything ever happens to him, I don't know how I will go on. Anyway, I know this is an old thread...but if anyone is reading and going through the same things...this book might be worth a read...Dropping the Baby and Other Scary Thoughts. Listen to Your Child . My son is now 6 years old. Accept the fact that something absolutely terrible/life-shattering might happen. I have to protect her constantly. You need to comfort your children and try to spend as much time as you can with them to ensure your love and constant support to them. It was to the point where I was maybe getting 3 hours of sleep or sometimes none because I was so overwhelmed with grief. Over the years, I have had many people tell me that losing a child is their worst nightmare and they just cannot imagine living through such horror. I hope it helps me control my thoughts so I can enjoy being a happy mommy to my wonderful, brave, adventurous little one year old! Thats now that she is three. They may cry, scream, or refuse to let go when a … This is by no means an easy situation. So is a fear of animals, such as large barking dogs. You all are not alone. Almost daily the deathometer goes up significantly by one thing most of us do everyday, driving a car. According to one study, 43% of children between ages 6 and 12 had many fears and concerns. Anxiety is its own distorted reality. I may be annoyingly cautious, but i relate to all of you that hv said i cant go on without her. It often begins in childhood when a child experiences a traumatic loss. It changes the way your mind processes information, so that you experience the symptoms of fear when there is no fear around, negative thinking, overthinking, and the tendency for your mind to notice cues that match your psychological expectations. So I limit the time he's in the car to limit the exposure to the statistical likelihood, even though it's still quite low, it's far and away the most dangerous thing we do each day. I posted this question about three years ago. When my oldest was 18 months old, I clearly remember breaking down in tears for fear I would lose him. I live in this constant fear of losing my dad, my mom n my brother. Conclusion The child itself could also be yourself, your own child or a divine child. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy & baby day by day – plus advice, guidance, and valuable tools. Something to point out is that the term phobia implies an irrational fear that somehow distresses or impairs you. If you watch the "news" you'll only see murder and debauchery because that sells ads (for pills and investments). “The first year after losing a younger child, a parent is at an increased risk for suicide and everything from major depression to complicated grief,” Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist at the NY Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of Medicine, told Fatherly. I give thanks that this feeling brings me right into the moment to appreciate everything I have instead of others I see letting life pass them by. I feel so bad for those mothers who lose their children that I obsess over everything I hear for days or weeks...even though I don't know the person! I have a 2.5 year old and a baby on the way. Fear of intentionally poisoning someone (e.g., putting rat poison into your loved one’s food). Weither we have a disorder or just to much love, these fears definitely take a toll on our lives and our health, as well as our partners. Use the actual numbers backed by facts and you'll find that the odds of your kid being killed is quite low. And since I've experienced that tragedy, my time with this second child is even sweeter. All fathers and mothers in the world love their children. Privacy Policy. Especially the panic that you feel inside even after awakening. In the situation where a child loses his or her parent early on, it can have a lifetime effect of anxiety over the possibility of losing anyone else. When my brain goes to that scary place, I find getting some fresh air and seeing the world moving can be a game changer. Most people fear … Yet, like my fear of the dark, your dread of being absent from your parents isn't logical. When she was born i was constantly worried about sids and people dropping her. Is it normal to feel guilty about having a second child? I have searched the internet buy only see mums suffer with this. Visit our Privacy Policy for more info. I remember that I believe everything is perfect. I have never suffered with anxiety. As others have said anything can happen, and we are all going to die. I suffered a lot when I first had my daughter, I thought something would happen to her or my husband. When i let someone else take control, the fears kick in that something will happen. Kids bonk. I find solace in statistics. But if you look at actual statistics, we are living in the safest time in human history. Great expectations. This was the top fear of the parents in our survey. How do I move forward? The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. I still worry about him, of course, and still sometimes peek in on him at night, to make sure he's breathing, but the last couple of years have made a big difference for me. I don't know, but my son is 3yrs old and I also live under an overwhelming fear that he will die. Even though my mind occasionally wanders into the darkness of the fear of losing another, I know I don’t belong there. Rest assured, if your loved one has an anxiety disorder, it’s probably there. I will watch videos of my daughter and can't help but feel like this is all I will have of her someday and I just break down. It also can promote a fear of abandonment. When a doctor reassures you that you don't have an illness or a test shows you're healthy, it doesn't relieve your nervousness. Fear of choking your baby or partner to death. It only represents that children fear to lose their parents or to become distant from them. A fear of abandonment is a form of anxiety. Somehow I managed to shake these horrible feelings. But when constant worries disrupt your child’s day-to-day life, that’s cause for concern. Hi Steven I think this is a topic that really needs looking into. We use cookies to collect information from your browser to personalize content and perform site analytics. I'm sure that I am not the only parent with this problem, but being rational about the whole situation doesn't seem to help ease my mind for any length of time. Me personally, i do have anxiety but after having my daughter its like it turned to extreme paranoia and control. Thank you for reading this........ Hello everyone. Sometimes I get so worked up (even though nothing has happened)I have to go and try to calm myself down. Listen to what your child has to say without minimizing their feelings or telling them that they don't need to worry about death. Fear of … Their fears are reflected in their dreams where they see themselves unable to communicate with you in their death. When my brain goes to that scary place, I find getting some fresh air and seeing the world moving can be a game changer. I have had 2 miscarriages and Winni was right there, she was my therapy dog. I also think that it doesn't help hearing about the sad things that happen to other people's children. If your child’s fear is usually fleeting and, once comforted, he or she is soon able to return to normal activities again, there is no reason to suspect that your child is excessively fearful. All pregnancy, parenting, and birth videos >, the most helpful and trustworthy pregnancy and parenting information. I may meditate or breath deeply. I agree. Do your best and LOVE every second that you get. I have had a bad habit of almost seeking out terrible stories! On occasion, we also use cookies to collect information from our toddlers, but that’s a totally different thing. I often find myself having intense compassion and sadness at hearing terrible news stories about kids. They always like to be with their children. I got shot in Afghan and survived, but if anything happened to my precious boy I couldn't go on. if you stay cooped up in fear, you and your child may suffer. 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