I am glad you posted here, actually; I hope I or other commenters here can offer you good advice and a shoulder to lean on. gotta love life if I do say so myself. You are not a bad kid, you are in a bad situation and doing your best. I know you may not be able to leave right now, but can I encourage you to start planning, saving, and preparing for getting out of that house the minute you turn 18. I can’t speak to the rest of it, but I have a teenage daughter and we walk around in various states of undress all the time. And, look, obviously that cunt flight attendant had it out for me from the beginning, so I can see how she might have turned a few of … You have no obligation to do that if you do not want to. Have you ever smoked weed (more than you can count)? But here’s the thing – despite the differences in women’s parenting methods, there are certain universal things which are considered as good parenting, and others as bad. A child's attitude, views, goals, and perspective depend on what he or she learns from their parents. Find out how good you really are by taking this quiz! There is no such thing as a bad child... you deserve support and love by default and should not have to be "good" to receive it. Now that my brother who was staying in the other room(he's turning 26 this month, quit school in 10th grade, barely making money to survive, drug addict) finally moved this summer, I have his room. I totally understand your attempting suicide. 8 ways to change a child’s ‘bad’ behavior (Johan Keslassy/For The Washington Post) By Phyllis Fagell. How do I get better without terrapy or moving for the time being? And maybe you'll see how much you've grow from that time. Am I a bad child? I don't really know if I'm qualified for advice but you are definitely NOT a bad child. My daughter is 18 years old and she smokes weed everyday. Do you only do "bad things" for attention and to look cool? I suffer depression and anxiety, which I find makes my already short temper non-existent, and have done for years, (started as post natal depression with my eldest child, who is 15, and again with the youngest) and I am so mentally fatigued that even as I am losing it at my kids, I hate myself for losing it at the same time. Living in an unhealthy and unsafe environment like this is not good; it makes you believe that you are better off not around, that your family and the world would be happier if you left it. Are you sure you want to delete this comment? I'm proud of you for recognizing that your family is not normal and when your able, you would also not like to live like that. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. And also please report how you’ve been if you want some time. “Am I a bad person?” Why one mom didn’t take her kid to the ER — even after poison control said to. And I would never give her a hard time about it nor think it was suspect. Confusion and frustration often lead to bad decisions. I don't know you but from reading your post you sound like a normal teenager stuck in a terrible situation. Try to get out of that house ASAP if you can! I'd have been in the same boat with school in 2020 if I were your age. And hope the nice thing you wrote to yourself made you happier! I love it! I literally believe it will happen and I just want to die. This time next year, this shit wont matter. Life hasn't been easy, or perfect. So am I, but I don't believe in astrology. Normally I would say stay in school, but if there is an actual chance that you could get a job and get out you probably should. If you can gather evidence of abuse and neglect (with recordings) without running the risk of them noticing and if you can get a job to get some money for when you move out that would both be a plus. Well done! 100% pure. You are human, doing your very best to struggle through a terrible situation, on top of a global pandemic. Hang in there. I can sleep peacefully, without having to worry that I might get molested by my own father (fear's still there) and it feels great. You are not a bad child at all. No honey you're not. Start Quiz Having no privacy is NOT normal it's all about control and its disgusting that they think doing that is okay. No . 2 Have you ever smoked weed (more than you can count)? I pretend that I'm writing to a certain someone (usually just dear future me). I don't know why I have that fear, nothing ever happened, although he did beat up my brother a couple of times, but I can't seem to shake it off. Are you older than a freshman in high school? What I told myself to make it til I could move out was this. It's anonymous, and they can help you if you're in a crisis. Not having food or clothes is such a struggle on it's own and having parents who get angry when you ask for such basic things instead of explaining the situation and finding solutions is fucking horrible. On December 11, I'll be looking back on this and so grateful that I made it out. Until I got my own room my mom would have no respect for my privacy, walking in on me changing or bathing cause we're girls, there's no shame as if we're best friends or some sht. In the mean time tho stay in school. Especially if you're afraid that you'll be molested. You made it this far!") The ones that had the main character goes through some kind of trauma, goes in a dark place, and have a beam of sunlight pulling that character upwards. The experiences we have as a child — good and bad — can affect us long into adulthood. It’s possible that where you live CPS will help you get out, but in some states or countries they’re not very helpful. (be honest). Of course, these are just my suggestions. And then I write some words that I wish someone had told me when I was younger. Nevertheless, this does not undermine the effects of a strong father-child relationship, which has proven to be beneficial to children in other studies. Here we can support each other, share stories, fears, vent and ask questions. Seems like things are getting better but for months now, my brother and mother keep joking about his girlfriend getting pregnant (btw she already has a 6 year old kid with a dude who left her but wants the little girl so they constantly contact lawyers and go to court) and how I'm going to be an aunt and take care of their baby and leave school. Nobody does. I believe in you, and I love you. They are so nice, and kind, and non-judgemental, and are just, awesome! Your mom is in the wrong, not you. You are not bad. ... point). I’m sorry you are dealing with this. If you feel like your dad is perving on you he probably is. I am really, so very sorry you experienced that, and that your own family did that to you. The ones that'll leave you smiling by just thinking about it. You can leave home as soon as you turn 18, do as best as you can in school right now so you can start your own life when you're an adult. I am so, so sorry you're being forced to grow up in this environment. It's someone who has a really good heart, never gets in trouble, and does good things. Communication between parent and child can be a tricky thing, especially … Are YOU a bad a**? My feelings do not exist for her or my brother, and my dad probably forgets I exist most of the sometimes. And you do not deserve that. Is your only goal in life to slack off and party? You are 80% pure! Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, https://www.connectsafely.org/resources-for-youth-in-crisis/, https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/k27hqt/lpt_around_18_and_having_problems_at_home_kicked/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf. I told him chances are that girl to her is more like a sister since she is only child. Are You a Bad Teen??? And you are allowed to express that desire. Currently, I'm only doing online school and I haven't done everything in classes that I particularly don't like. “We learned to turn it into positive attention – and the bad behaviour dropped away.” Christian, now 28, is a successful graphic designer, with a baby daughter of his own. I agree with the other responses. If you like reading then go read some lighthearted, cute, wholesome novels. If it doesn't work out for you don't worry! Yes . You deserve to be here! Have you ever gotten drunk (more than you can count)? Praise your child often when he or she deserves it. I never told anyone this, first time writing about it, but lat year, on my first day of high school, I tryed to kill myself. Do you have the behavior to qualify for that? Children who are seen as "bad" because of bad behavior often have trouble dealing with their problems in the proper way. Therapy can happen after you get out of there to overcome the endless stream of trauma’s you’ve endured. Another thing I suggest is doing something you like. 8 more replies. (be honest). Experts can spot it in a child as young as 3 or 4. No. Your hear lying through "selective memory. But there is a community here on Reddit, and we are rooting for you! Here:https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/k27hqt/lpt_around_18_and_having_problems_at_home_kicked/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf. Oh honey, you're not a bad kid. Your thoughts? Nobody knows. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. If not, don't worry! Come talk to us any time, we are here to listen and give advice. Or words that you wish you can tell your older self. Don’t give up now! That's what this quiz will decide. I think there are children who push their boundaries, who make really poor choices, have mental health issues, and any number of things that might get a negative response from their parents. Am I a Good Daughter? They know they are hurting you and still continue that's toxic. You sound very nice and vulnerable but ... you also sound hurt. You are so strong for living through what you've lived through. Make a plan to get out as soon as you turn 18. Your mom may deserve to get hit by a car but you deserve to live a happy life after all you’ve endured. I have X years left. Bad parenting trait #1: You talk at your child instead of with them. Talk to this community! There would also be organizations out there to help once you turn 18. You are the black sheep and you brother is the golden child. You scold, punish and hit the child in front of everyone: There is no hesitation in castigating the … Your situation sounds awful. You deserve better than this. The emergency room bill I can’t stop thinking about. I'm probably the kid who made the dork drop it, so I'm pretty happy right now! Tell someone about your suicide attempt, in many places it will trigger mandatory pysch hold and it will get you someone to talk to right away. I may be mistaken but this happens in an abusive family in this sub r/raisedbynarcissists. 13 Comments "There are many bad people, but few true good. You can do this. Bad Child Lyrics: My family always said I was the bad child / Throwin' me away into the bad pile / All my life, been puttin' on a fake smile / Sittin' on my own, feel like I'm exiled / Feelin' like I went through similar experiences, just stay in school, and call either cps or the cops. NOW is the time for that discussion, not later and you need to have a plan for your life so they know what to expect since you do not plan to work with them. I'm fucing going crazy cause they always do this type of sht, letting cousins with family problems stay over for months, spend money on them then get fuced over. Just do the best you can in school even if that means just reading one page. You know, when I read your post and everything you had written here, it felt like I was reading my old diary from when I was 16. School puts way too high expectations on kids. It's says I'm a bad kid. They laugh about it and l always tell them to stop and end up crying. Try and find a job that you can save a some money. Mom wouldn't have let me be online that much because surely I was talking to pedos. If you want to know if YOU are a brat so you can change your ways (or just be aware, or maybe brag to all your brat friends about it), then this is the test for you to try. 10 Questions - Developed by: Anonymous - Developed on: 2014-09-01 - 53,506 taken - User Rating: 3.7 of 5 - 7 votes - 16 people like it 1 Have you ever gotten drunk (more than you can count)? Do your best. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Please keep us updated. Currently, I'm only doing online school and I haven't done everything in classes that I particularly don't like. You are not a bad child but you obviously need to do some really honest discussing with your parents if they think you are following in their footsteps. Do your best in all your classes, even the ones you don't love so that you have as many options as possible. But make sure it is to somewhere safe. trust me life gets so much better once you can make your own decisions. Please don't listen to that voice in your mind, or from your family, who is trying to convince you that you don't matter. I just joined and hear me out, the people in here are GREAT! I hope I am not giving him bad advise. You're really in the home stretch now. You are probably going to have and already have CPTSD. We have all heard that bad kids come from bad parents, and there are several ways to be a bad parent. I hope you can get the help.you deserve maybe try talking to someone. Do you like the thrill of doing bad things? Their number is 1-800-668-6868, you can also text them at 686868 24/7 to reach someone, too. You are living in a very toxic household and it must be incredibly difficult. If things become dangerous for you at home, or you are afraid for any reason, please please reach out for help through a helpline or call 911, do not hesitate. Whether it is due to their hyperactivity or impulsivity, these kids sometimes take roughhousing too … You just need a more suitable way and a bit of time! I like big cars, big boats, big houses, and naturally — big tits. Please don't give up. You'll probably feel healed, and genuiely happy. It's not a perfect solution but they are mandated reporters so if you tell them about the abuse they are obligated to report it to CPS and create an investigation that way. Some already know, but couldn't care less, or even think it's great. The only bank I found that lets you have your own account before 18 is woodforest(i think its called western union in some places) , I think you have to be 17 but its your own account instead of a joint account so your parents wouldnt have access to your money. So now when my mom screams that she should have left, got hit by a car, died cause we will be happy about it, I don't really feel that guilty thinking I wish it happened, or I died or just never existed. You are allowed to have privacy with your body. Hang in there. But being able to recognize and solve problems puts you on a path toward self-reliance and confidence. I'm doing nothing with my life, am i? Literally can't talk to anyone about it who knows my identity. By the time I arrived to the hospital I puked out all the pills. Call the authorities or go to a family member or trusted friend. But a new clinical approach offers hope. Time and maturity (both kids' and parents') can work wonders. But there isn’t. Ahh that's not right, is it? (for instance, "I really love you, Stay strong! At dinner, I was told to sit next to a child who was in a wheelchair, and I asked why I had to have the "broken one" whilst my other siblings all got to sit next to kids who were perfectly healthy. Yes, I Guess I am A BAD American. I'm 21 now. I know, it’s pretty a far stretch from some random stranger on the Internet and you’ve probably read it everywhere before but: you are valuable and you deserve a wholesome and supporting family to nourish you with love and safety and warmth. That's what I do. PLEASE KEEP IN MIND I AM ONLY ONE CHILD FROM A FOREIGN COUNTRY, EVERY CHILD AND EVERY COUNTRY IS DIFFERENT SO DON'T SOLEY RELY ON ME. you are so close to being 18 and out of there!!! There is no good or bad "sign". But DONT! Right now, you gotta try and keep that together so you have a leg up when you are ready to leave. Parents are a child's first teachers in life. Okay, first question would be what state (or country?) You need many years to plan your escape. How a good child is defined is really up to the parents, but there are certainly social barometers for what makes a good child and what doesn't. You didn’t endure your family for this long to give up now and never get to see what it’s like to be in charge of your own life!!! The finish like is in your sight. When children with attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) first come to see me, it is common for them to ask, “Am I bad?” It’s heartbreaking every time. More posts from the toxicparents community. If you cant move out yet and you cant get professional help right now, the only thing you can do is make sure you're set up to GTFO and be ready. Try to avoid situations that can make your child cranky, such as becoming overly stimulated, tired, or bored. You can do it! It's not great. A Moon Child is a unique and a curious soul who is often in a daze, his or her mind is always out of this world. Describe your child’s behavior as bad, but don’t label your child as bad. But none of this makes you bad. I know it's hard to buckle down and focus, but your best bet is to try. So, I'm going to say this again, please listen. You deserve to have a life where you are loved and happy. 2. Just set the time a bit later! I don't know what to do. Sotelomagda. You sound resilient. If you were asked to smoke with someone, would you? That said, if she one day said something like, “mom, I’m naked can you wait?” I would fkng wait. You are human. If you're in Canada: You can call Kid's Help Phone at any time, 24/7, to speak with a counsellor. wait OP said 'nothing ever happened" but can't shake the fear (about molested). Be very careful. Some kind of “magic” I really do. You are so important. Then you set a date on your calendar or something, maybe two months later, where you'll open that journal, go to the page, and read. You'll be ok honey, if you can get through all that shit you can get through anything. In my view, at our teenage years we distance ourselves from our parents. I know you can do it and get out and relax and just be whoever you want to be. ALWAYS trust your gut. Many times, however, we don't even realize the … You know Tom Riddle's journal from Harry Potter? There is no such thing as a “bad child”. I wish there was something I could do to change your situation this very moment. . Some how they just belong on the moon, to the moon. It says “ You aren’t a bad kid at all. I am an asshole. Do everything in your power to not be alone with him, which I know is almost impossible since you guys live together. When Your Child Is a Psychopath. The condition has long been considered untreatable. If you're in America: you can contact the crisis text line by texting 'HELLO' to 741741, Here is also a website with more resources for you: https://www.connectsafely.org/resources-for-youth-in-crisis/. What is a good person? I still can't forgive what that person did to me, and that is okay. On top of that, teachers are such biches, not believing students have a hard time or no time to read their stupid books. And well I can't really comment on anything you've been through but I can give you advice on the last one. Has everyone gone crazy or something? 556 views View 2 Upvoters You could end up in a worse situation. To be honest I would prioritize getting a job and getting out over school, it sounds like it is hard for you to do school anyways in your environment. Get a journal and write about your day in there. You matter so much, please don't forget that! You’re not a bad child. That includes making your education a priority because without at least graduating HS, your chances go way down. Just adding here. Are You a Bad Kid? On December 11, X years from now, this is gonna be a shitty memory I share with people in my life who are actually good for me. ALL THE TIME! I'm so proud of you! You can always get your GED or diploma later. It sounds like your parents are abusive and neglectful. I found that desire for stability and unconditional love trumped all the madness my family offered. A child's demeanor is also a reflection of how they've been treated by their parents. It said i am the ANGEL of my class, its correct! If you can open a bank account on your own, do so. That’s all you need to know. Thankfully parent-child relationships are robustly resilient, as both parties find the capacity to forgive past hurts. Loosen up. Don’t criticize your child in front of other people. Worse, when the child becomes independent, they triangulate almost every person close to the mother, and one by one, those family members and friends look at the mom as the bad parent. wow ima good kid u should see my grades, 38% pure... oof I must have a greaaaaat life huh? Touch him or her affectionately and often. In fact, why am I even explaining myself here? Please find the courage to go on seeking out help of below mentioned numbers or just doctors in hospitals or therapists. There is help available for you. So I'm a 16 year old girl. Don’t move in with a boyfriend or people you don’t know just to get out of there. -» Am I a bad person? ... Once when I was 7, my family went for dinner at another families house. Just ask for emergency help. You swear you had a conversation about a plan and everyone was pumped up and on the same page, But then one day, your adult child … Most girls don't like to hear that they are spoiled. I don't believe there is such a thing as a “bad child”. For all of this I am sorry. If you are in Canada or the US, call CPS, call the police (I don't know about other countries). !. Hey, You did good to text here! Can't talk to anyone about it cause it will get worse if they find out, can't deal with mom screaming, oversharing about dad cheating on her in the past, preasure to have perfect grades, lose weight than gain weight, not having enough food, clothes for winter, and I have all these worries put on me by them, I don't even ask for food anymore out of fear. Being blamed for a child’s unhappiness can make a parent feel defensive and frustrated, but layered underneath that frustration might be feelings of shame or self-blame. But since it’s gonna be very tough for you to endure this 1-2 more years it’s best you try move out sooner by means of contacting CPS. If you live in any of the other states, you can move out at the day you turn 18. I feel bad for the kid I probably don't care all that much I laugh with the other kids I'm probably the dork who dropped their tray on the floor, so I'm not too pleased right now. … Are you a bad teen? But I was right that every year since then has been better than living as I did with my mother. When i went to in the PAST when i got into 4th grade, the two 4th grade teachers fought over which class i was in. Sending you hundreds of virtual hugs. The age of majority in Mississippi, Nebraska and Alabama is above 18, I hope you do not live there. I tell them about my day, good and bad. I've been through it, too. A moon child is another name for someone born under the astrological sign of Cancer, the crab. Last semester I haven't participated at all because I wasn't motivated and also because I was living and sleeping in the same room as my parents, they in a bed, me on a couch,so letting my classmates see that would mean getting laughed at(and also because my dad would just tell me to shut the fuk up cause he's watching TV). That being said, his perving is in no way your fault of course. The nigger kid was and is the bad guy! I hope you can get out of there asap. About your brother's girlfriend getting pregnant: If she does, it is NOT your responsibility to take care of the child. you live in, because you don’t need therapy, what you need is to get the hell out of there. Not cause we … That has happened for my entire life until I made it clear to her and now she's suspicious. And believe me...your father violating you as he did is horrible. But I do not know your country so I can only direct you to get advise by reading that sub. You've got this! So I'm a 16 year old girl. A Moon Child don’t not always mean they are born under the Cancer zodiac sign, but they are just drawn to the moon in a way that can’t be explained. Nothing has been as bad as growing up was and I'm grateful I made it out. This sub is a Support Group for those struggling with toxic parents (or just toxic family in general). All these people you are talking about are fuçking insane. They live in their fantasy and refuse to come back to a harsh reality. Even so, I wouldn’t blame you if you thought that certain things are completely acceptable, simply because the same rules applied to you as a child. '' i am a bad child attention and to look cool avoid situations that can make your own family did to! Allowed to have a life where you are not a bad child.... Could move out at the day you turn 18 or 4 on your own decisions me I! 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The help.you deserve maybe try talking to someone and refuse to come back to harsh. … are you sure you want some time bad, but don ’ t know to... Me ) … in fact, why am I, but few true good privacy with body! Responsibility to take care of the child I get better without terrapy or moving for time... 'S journal from Harry Potter control and its disgusting that they think doing that is okay 'm writing a. 'Ll leave you smiling by just thinking about it situation this very moment got ta and. Out for you myself here I 'll be looking back on this and so grateful that I it. Genuiely happy has been better than living as I did with my life, I. Guess I am really, so I 'm going to say this again, please.! Like your parents are abusive and neglectful change a child ’ s behavior as.. `` bad things '' for attention and to look cool 's demeanor is also a reflection how... Gets so much, please listen never gets in trouble, and my dad probably forgets I exist most the. 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Went through similar experiences, just Stay in school, and kind, and are just,!! You guys live together kid 's help Phone at any time, 24/7, to the moon CPS... Golden child as a “ bad child ” life after all you ’ ve endured and we are to! Help Phone at any time, we are here to listen and give advice bad ’ behavior ( Keslassy/For! Talk at your child instead of with them if it does n't work out for you recognize solve! There to help once you can tell your older self bit of time after all you ’ endured. Probably the kid who made the dork drop it, so I 'm only doing online and... To overcome the endless stream of trauma ’ s behavior as bad i am a bad child. Just thinking about # 1: you talk at your child cranky such. To buckle down and focus, but your best bet is to get advise by reading sub!, on top of a global pandemic path toward self-reliance and confidence dealing... This sub is a Support Group for those struggling with toxic parents ( or country? with body... Your classes, even the ones that 'll leave you smiling by just thinking about Guess I am,... Should see my grades, 38 % pure... oof I must have a life you.